Love : Or the absence of it thereby :D

I finally figured it out! Aaaah, feels so good.
It is not that I do not like the guys that like me to begin with or that I love only those guys that do not give a damn.. :)
It is just that I fall in love with those and only those that despise me. It is possible that I am so much of a commitment phobic that the thought of liking a guy that might like me back is just frightening. Or is it because I am a masochist? Not so sure. I am not much of a masochist under normal circumstances. I hate anything or anyone that even comes near hurting me. But I guess this is all about the sweet pain of being in love (and the more intense pain of falling out of it :p)

There is this new guy I like. A photographer. He seemed to like me in the beginning. And that drove me off the wall. And now that he doesn't seen to give a damn, I am crawling back up, looking for a sign of affection :D I am flirting and everything.. ;)
I am a little crazy, I have to admit.

I have no idea what guys, that I like and that may like me, wants me to say. Otherwise I am this conversation wizard who keeps shut only when she eats (yup, I talk in sleep too) And it so turns out that I know what to say and when to say, to make people happy.
That reminds me, today this very very old man (perhaps Pakistani, or maybe an Indian) told me "Good job dear"! He said this in Hindi and all that I did was give him directions; something I do all the time. But the feeling it gave was like a summer breeze or a hot breeze in mid-winter. Something of a comfort :)

Bye the Bye :D

Dramas..

Not real life dramas or plays. What I am talking about here is TV dramas. The likes of Friends or Kusum (in Hindi)
I am in the habit of watching dramas. In Eng, Japanese and Korean. There is this latest fav of mine, coffee prince. About a coffee shop and its very very very rich owner. I liked it so much that I did not even want to go to work; nothing new there ;)
But why do my favorite characters go crazy after some time? Why do they do all the crappy things that make me want to quit watching it altogether? I mean, come on, u all have one man or woman each. Why do you do things yo are not supposed to do? Idjits!! Ninnys!!
And why am I searching so hard for love? Don't I know that the more I look, the farther it goes and the harder it gets ;( It seems to be a rule that the guys that I like do not like me and the ones I cannot like (good ones too) are the ones that end up liking me and getting hurt :x
As if I found a million of them when I was not looking ;) I mean people who love me. I am talking about purely romantic love here, k?

Ciao Ciao ;)

Love in cybrspace :)

Wow, I am being very regular here, am I not? Guess that is what happens when you have nothing better to do ;) Not saying that blogging is not fun; when there are 1000s of thoughts running through your mind, blogging comes first. When your mind is speeding, you need to take out some of what is going on and fill it into someplace.
So, about love in cyberspace; you think that happens? Do you think that you can fall in love with someone that you just chatted with? In comes my new phrase: "Love at first chat".. No, no, no movie makers; you cannot borrow this phrase. You may not!! This thought is exclusively mine and I do not want a tacky movie made out of this..
So, I know this person who fell in love with a guy online. There is this joke I heard somewhere; "They met ONLINE, fell in love ONLINE, married ONLINE and she is now having a kid!!" The question is; how!! Well, they must have had chat sex :p
This girl I am talking about, chatted with the guy for almost a month. This is happening now; so do not expect me to know its ending. She fell in love with him and is still in love with him and has vowed that she will not CHAT with another stranger (men of course)

Is this possible people? Can someone be as shallow as this? Or is THIS the new depth? Meeting someone where there are billions and billions of others to meet and falling in love because of similar circumstances and allegedly similar thought patterns.
As for me, I cannot trust a person I just met online. Even with a lot of chats, I cannot trust a stranger. It is just uncomfortable.. Not just coz I have a high opinion of guys in general (just kidding) Because even if you meet a person; in person; you just cannot know what is going through their mind.
So unburdening oneself through chats is just creepy ;) Not that I have not done it myself; but that was years ago. Feels like a century ago. When I was a freshman in college. And I got myself into a nice fix too! Poor guy did look like he genuinely loved me :O
Oh and in this particular case; this is the girl's first love. Maybe this is going to work out. But I know one thing for sure;I do not want to stick around and see a sad ending if that is what it is going to be because this is kind of all that is going for her now...

Hate off days

Anybody here hate off days? To be frank, I usually LOVE my off days. But I've come to hate them. Passionately hate off days. Wish I could just let my supervisor know that I want to work on a particular day and do not want to sit at home. He he!
Having a problem with my apartment mate; not sure if she knows ;) That is classic isn't it? How many people can quarrel with a person without even letting them know? I know only one person; my ex-room mate and friend. Only God knew what was going through her head. She was just a big puzzle that I gave several attempts to solve. All failed attempts.
One question: Would you let a person know that you have; rather you are suffering from an attention deficit disorder? Guess not! It is not really the best or easiest conversation to have.
Coming back to my ex-roomi, I think I am solving the mystery of her mind in bits and pieces.

What if; just what if all she wanted was a bit of my time and attention? What if all the madness throughout the time I stayed with her was for a reaction from me!! Scary thought. Not saying that she is homosexual; pretty sure she is not. To think that I lead a person to that state of mind :( I know I sound vain; but this is just a line of thought.

Back to work

Hey y'all

I am back in the place I work. Not my country and not with my family :(
I seriously wonder why the hell I am here and what the hell I am doing here. I seriously do not want to work ;( [that is a crying face in case you didn't know]
As I was leaving, things at home was not all that good. Grand mom falling ill and me not getting the attention I wanted ;)
I am sure my sis is gonna kick the crap out of me when she reads this, or maybe she will want to.. :p And she can't coz we are not in the place.. he he he...
My work : They do not care about people who work for them. What is new in that, right! Who on earth is gonna care for their employees!! I work and I work like a donkey (I do wok a lot, ok..) And yet all the company wants to do is find fault with me ;(
If anyone knows how to demotivate; it is almost all employers on earth. These people demotivated me within 4 days of my joining here. But I need the experience yar!! :(

Aargh..

Muah

Breaking up..

Break up

Have been trying to read up on break ups. I need to know how to break up with a friend. The difficult part is that we were very close (we are still physically in the same country) and we used to spend a lot of time together. Now my friend found new friends and a lover and is going in a direction that is forcing me to reconsider the consideration I used to give her.
To me, friends are like family and I treat them in the same way. I love my sister and my best friend (for 5 years now) is still like my sister; though we are not in the same place anymore.
So, my new friend now wants a new life,new friends and chuck the crap out of her life (u know what/who that is) I am left confused. I have never been dissatisfied by my friends and however cool or uncool the world saw them to be, I love them. But it seems not everyone is made of the same soil..
I am considering breaking off this friendship. Not sure whether I should or not anymore. Will know in 2 week's time I think.
So long...

Feeling BLUE ;(

I bloody cut the loses and run. That is who I am. Call me a coward, but that is what I do.
I do not like hurting myself. Masochist and me, no bloody way!! I am a self centered brat through and through and I will protect myself no matter what.
Ok, let me start from the beginning, I am a sad loser who cares too much about people. It all started with my sister. I mean she might be the first person that was my possession.. I did not like it when she was closer to my cousin sister. Then my mom, my dad, my brother; the number of my possessions kept growing.
Finally, I went to college, where I found really great friends (translation, possessions) And now my friend in Dubai.
Just to explain stuff, one very wise person once said that change is the only permanent thing in life. And it is that very "change" that I hated/still hate the most.
I am scared that when things change, the people I overtly care about will change, essentially making them less caring than they were (if they ever did care in the first place)
To continue with my possessions, when things change, I just DO NOT go with the flow (as is healthy) I get stubborn and continue being in that very place where I was left. Scared and trembling and acting tough.
People say you grow up with time. I guess this aspect of mine never will grow or leave me.
As I said, I cut the losses and run. I had to run all the way from India to UAE to find peace within myself after my last huge change. I wonder in which direction will I run this time. Well, whichever that is, its sure gonna take me far far away from where I am right now. And the funniest thing is, it is about 4000 kms each time..
I did whine away to glory this time :)

Muah to all my 3 followers :)